Another Beginning…

…this one less pleasant.

It’s the start of a new semester. This time I’m taking Abnormal Psychology so it’s something I’ll definitely be interested in. I was interested in ASL too, but the work of it made it less interesting to me if that makes sense. Abnormal psych though is a part of my life so learning more about it shouldn’t be too much of a hardship.

I went online and looked at the ratings of my professor. I’m not so sure it was a good idea. It’s got me super nervous. You know it said all the worst things, lots of work, tests every week, professor doesn’t answer emails (and being an online school that’s definitely a big issue), etc. It’s just got me concerned and I’m trying not to think about it. But it’s hard.

How have you coped with a difficult professor? (If she’s anything like her reviews, I’ll definitely be giving a detailed end of semester survey!)

The End and the Beginning

It’s finally the end of the semester. I scraped by in ASL, it’s true. It was much more difficult and a lot more work than I expected. But it wasn’t unreasonable. However, it wasn’t easy for someone with the conditions that I have to have to Skype video chat with different strangers two times a week. After a few times of trying and it not getting better, but worse, I made the decision to not participate in that activity. So that hurt my grade a lot. I believe if I had continued with the video calls that I would have received an A. But I’m perfectly happy with my B.

At the same time, we’re moving. It’s the beginning of what feels like a new life for me. Where (hopefully) I won’t have such crippling anxiety to even go to the front yard and check the mailbox. In a more superficial way, I’ll be less pale because we have a pool! And I plan on spending the summer in it! Already, as I’m writing this I’ve got my suntan lotion on and I’m just waiting for my phone to finish charging so I can use it to listen to some music and just hang out by the pool.

It’s really a great relaxer and really takes my mind off the things that are happening in the world. Like coronavirus. Like loosening the restrictions and people thinking we’re all okay and then we have another break out. I live in the place in Alabama where coronavirus cases are growing the fastest, so it being a concern of mine doesn’t seem so far fetched. But I’m not completely freaked out by it. Because I’m careful. I try to avoid people (usually do that anyway) and I wash my hands (which I also do anyway).

Moral of the story: semester’s over, moved in to new house, and most importantly WASH YOUR HANDS!!

Crazy Times!

I haven’t posted in a while. Why? So many reasons…

  1. Coronavirus has been crazy! It’s really starting to get to me, but I know that I’m really quite lucky considering everything that’s going on.
  2. School. This ASL class has a ton of work involved. Lots of making videos and video chats with different people which causes me a lot of anxiety. Without thinking about it I tend to avoid the things that make me anxious. So there’s procrastination galore. Which causes more stress about actually getting things done.
  3. Moving. There’s a lot involved. Now there’s the official stay-at-home order, curfew… limited groceries, lots of stuff (more than I imagined)… issues at the new house, problems at the old house (gah!)
  4. Work. Will we keep our jobs? Will we lose them? We will have to take a pay cut? This is my dream home, but it’s very possible that we made a mistake buying when we did, right as coronavirus hit us here…

Basically, there’s a ton going on. There’s worries about people keeping jobs… My brother already lost his thanks to the ‘rona and with a new baby I think things are going to be getting tight over in his household so if you pray, pray for those who are struggling and can’t see the end in sight.

Right now, I really just feel overwhelmed, stressed, and stupid. That’s where I’m at so for the quality of this blog I’ve decided to take a little break until I can get everything else somewhat under control.

If it’s possible, I’ll try to post a little something now and then… but don’t hold your breath.

Good luck to everyone! I hope you all keep your jobs or get a different job with better pay that you actually like (hopefully this happens to my brother soon)! Stay safe! And stay at home!

Technology is not my friend

My ASL 1 class has just started. Since it’s online we meet our professor and other “mentors” (other people who also teach ASL who we practice with) via Skype.

I may have mentioned this before, but technology is not my friend. I can do some things, but a lot is over my head. For example, I just rejoined Facebook as a way to be involved in the Deaf community while in quarantine (thank you COVID-19). There is so much about it that I just don’t understand and don’t know how to do things. I try to stay off it because I don’t want to do the wrong thing somehow and post something or something like that and embarrass myself with it.

Needless to say, Skype is also over my head. I just recently received a 0 because I couldn’t get my Skype to work to contact my mentor with whom I had scheduled the weekly meeting as per instructed. I hate making bad grades. I mean, I hate it. With my anxiety over other things, bad grades on top of it just stresses me out. When I get stressed out, I shut down. I sleep a lot. I don’t do things. I avoid, avoid, avoid. So that’s what’s been happening for me.

I’ve got a new appointment with a mentor scheduled for this week and hopefully I’ll have figured it out and don’t miss it again. Other than my issues with technology, I’m loving the class, learning the new signs and everything. So interesting and the nerd in me says fun too!

Facebook and ASL

My new ASL (American Sign Language) class just started yesterday. Since it’s online, the coronavirus has no effect on the class.

Part of the requirements of the class is getting involved in the deaf community. That part is kind of ruled out for now, so I thought about it and how I could get my hours involved in the deaf community. This is what was suggested to me: Facebook.

Ah, the dreaded Facebook. I haven’t had a Facebook account in 10 years. I don’t like Facebook. But it had to be done. So I now have a Facebook account. People I haven’t spoken to in years are friend requesting me. Parents of friends I had when I was growing up are friend requesting me. I don’t know what to do about that, so the requests are being ignored for now. I found some groups and joined, or pages – whatever.

I don’t like having a Facebook but if it’s the only/best way to get involved with the deaf community at the moment, I’ll suck it up and do it.

I guess my point with this post is to say I’m putting myself out there on Facebook and that it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Next, that my ASL class has started and I’m thrilled. I can’t wait to learn the language.

Anyone else out there learning ASL? or interested in ASL?

TV Friday!

So what’s next on my recommendation list? Don’t worry, it’s American this time. Now, it isn’t for everybody and I understand that.

At first, I didn’t find it that funny. For some reason, I stuck with it and I’m glad I did. There were hilarious episodes, times that even made me laugh out loud (which is not often).

It’s filmed like it’s a documentary of this office where they sell paper, and they interview the cast like they’re real people in a documentary. In the very end, they air the documentary and we see their reactions. But it’s worth it. It’s worth the time to watch.

I would put it on during study breaks because the episodes were about 20 minutes long. That’s just the right amount of time for a study break. Doing online school, it feels almost like I’m constantly studying for something. The breaks were exactly what I needed.

Give it a shot! Watch a few episodes before you make you a decision on it.

APA Paper – Veterans and PTSD

I’m in an Orientation class and they’re teaching us how to write an APA style paper. Coming from an English major to Psychology major means switching from my well-known MLA style to the foreign APA style. Anyway, so I’m learning that. We get to choose our own topic. I chose veterans’ suicide rates and PTSD.

I’ve done lots of research and reading statistics and government produced documents. The point is… the state of the government and public’s relationship with veterans is pretty bad. The suicide rates and extremely high and getting higher. The ages of those committing suicide are getting younger and younger. And it seems like there’s a lot of talk and everyone agrees that something should be done and veterans should be taken care of, and yet nothing is actually being done. Not enough anyway.

It’s time for the public to stand up and demand better treatment for our vets, better facilities for them, and better education and training of the people working in these facilities. They need a bigger budget to accommodate this.

I’m ranting, but something should be done. Vets should be a much higher priority than they are now. They shouldn’t be homeless. They shouldn’t have trouble finding jobs. They should be able to get help from educated people dedicated towards their mental health. There should also be some kind of education, training, preparation for families of vets coming home with PTSD or any other mental illness.

Okay, I’m done now. But come on… America, the greatest country in the world but if you look at the state of veterans, we’re pretty low. Not enough people are speaking out about it. Certainly, not enough people are doing anything about it.

Done now. For real. But seriously… like if you agree.

Busy Busy Busy Bee

For the past few weeks, my life has been crazy busy. I’ve been gone from home more than being at home. I stayed with my sister and her baby and fell in love with him completely. (not posting pictures for privacy) I may be biased but I think he’s the cutest newborn baby I’ve ever seen. He was absolutely perfect.

While I was there, my school term started! In a matter of days I went from not being a student to applying, being accepted, registering for a class and then it started! I mean, it was less than a week – the whole process. I was amazed. Promo note: If you’re ever looking for an online university that’s a legit university – Troy University is the best. They work with a lot of military so they’ve been doing online for years as well as having an actual brick and mortar university and different campuses. I’m just starting week 3 of my course and I can say that so far the professor an advisors have made my transitioning so easy. They answer questions quickly and thoroughly. It’s just a great university.

Anyway. I’m doing my class, I’m waiting for a specific job opening that would be perfect for me, and currently I’m cleaning out all my stuff, going through everything. So it’s been a busy time, hence the absence on here!

But I love being able to say, “Yes, I’m a student.”

I want to prove my high school teachers who all told me I’d never graduate college wrong, and I want to get my degree. I want to prove that little voice in my head wrong, the one that says I’m worthless and can’t do anything right. I want to show that even people with mental illnesses and PTSD can be successful!

I’m doing it and you can too!

Official Student and Baby Watch

I’m officially going back to school to finish my degree in psychology!

Due to my PTSD, anxiety, and depression along with my many other mental health issues, I was forced to take a hiatus from school. That short term break turned into 6 years.

But I’m going back now! It’s totally online, 100%, which I love. It’s perfect for someone like me.

Baby Watch.

My sister is pregnant and is due to be induced later this week because she’s so far past her due date that she just can’t stand it anymore.

They haven’t told us the name, but we do know that it’s a boy. So I’m going to be an aunt. I’m going to have a nephew to spoil rotten and even though I can’t emote that publicly and show how excited I really am (mental health issues), I am truly very excited. And nervous. I’ve never really been around babies much, but this is one I get to spoil and send home to their parents on a sugar high!

So that’s my fun news of the week! I’m going back to school, and I’m going to be an aunt!

Anyone else with exciting news? Or boring news? News of any nature really…