It’s finally the end of the semester. I scraped by in ASL, it’s true. It was much more difficult and a lot more work than I expected. But it wasn’t unreasonable. However, it wasn’t easy for someone with the conditions that I have to have to Skype video chat with different strangers two times a week. After a few times of trying and it not getting better, but worse, I made the decision to not participate in that activity. So that hurt my grade a lot. I believe if I had continued with the video calls that I would have received an A. But I’m perfectly happy with my B.
At the same time, we’re moving. It’s the beginning of what feels like a new life for me. Where (hopefully) I won’t have such crippling anxiety to even go to the front yard and check the mailbox. In a more superficial way, I’ll be less pale because we have a pool! And I plan on spending the summer in it! Already, as I’m writing this I’ve got my suntan lotion on and I’m just waiting for my phone to finish charging so I can use it to listen to some music and just hang out by the pool.
It’s really a great relaxer and really takes my mind off the things that are happening in the world. Like coronavirus. Like loosening the restrictions and people thinking we’re all okay and then we have another break out. I live in the place in Alabama where coronavirus cases are growing the fastest, so it being a concern of mine doesn’t seem so far fetched. But I’m not completely freaked out by it. Because I’m careful. I try to avoid people (usually do that anyway) and I wash my hands (which I also do anyway).
Moral of the story: semester’s over, moved in to new house, and most importantly WASH YOUR HANDS!!
I haven’t posted in a while. Why? So many reasons…
Coronavirus has been crazy! It’s really starting to get to me, but I know that I’m really quite lucky considering everything that’s going on.
School. This ASL class has a ton of work involved. Lots of making videos and video chats with different people which causes me a lot of anxiety. Without thinking about it I tend to avoid the things that make me anxious. So there’s procrastination galore. Which causes more stress about actually getting things done.
Moving. There’s a lot involved. Now there’s the official stay-at-home order, curfew… limited groceries, lots of stuff (more than I imagined)… issues at the new house, problems at the old house (gah!)
Work. Will we keep our jobs? Will we lose them? We will have to take a pay cut? This is my dream home, but it’s very possible that we made a mistake buying when we did, right as coronavirus hit us here…
Basically, there’s a ton going on. There’s worries about people keeping jobs… My brother already lost his thanks to the ‘rona and with a new baby I think things are going to be getting tight over in his household so if you pray, pray for those who are struggling and can’t see the end in sight.
Right now, I really just feel overwhelmed, stressed, and stupid. That’s where I’m at so for the quality of this blog I’ve decided to take a little break until I can get everything else somewhat under control.
If it’s possible, I’ll try to post a little something now and then… but don’t hold your breath.
Good luck to everyone! I hope you all keep your jobs or get a different job with better pay that you actually like (hopefully this happens to my brother soon)! Stay safe! And stay at home!
It’s in the process stage now, but the owners have accepted our offer so it’s pretty much ours! After searching for the right house for sooo long…
I knew the moment we were in the house that I loved it. Walking around it, checking out the rooms, the yard, the pool (and hot tub!), the upstairs, the front doors, everything, I knew that this was THE house.
It’s the house and it’s ours! I can’t wait to actually be in the house (skip the actual packing and moving of all our things). This summer, I’ll be burning by the pool in the backyard and cooling off in the pool. I cannot wait. I’m so excited!
In reality, house hunting is stressful. It’s a lot of money to spend. It’s a big investment and because you’re spending all that money you want it to be the perfect house with the perfect yard in the perfect neighborhood in the right area of town (or not if that’s your preference).
I’m learning all this now. There’s something about going into a totally empty house and trying to imagine it filled with your own belongings while a realtor follows you around blathering on about all the pros of the property. When really, all you want is to be left alone to walk around, look at everything and talk about it with the people who came with you — not the person trying to sell the house to you.
I guess you can call it exciting. But it’s also a little sad to leave the place you’re in. It’s filled with your essence, your memories. For me, it’s my parents leaving the house that I grew up in. My whole life is in that one house and it’s going to be left behind and someone else is going to live there and make memories and change it. It’s the definition of bittersweet.
But the truth is, I’m grateful. I’m grateful that they have the opportunity to move someplace that they really love and is something they really want. I’m blessed to have them as role models in my life because they’re pretty good ones.
Besides all of that, it’s actually getting me out of the house once a week to go to the open houses on Sundays. So that’s always good. But even then, I’m hiding behind a camera. The world seems different through a lens, safer almost. It’s like watching it all on TV instead of living it. Circumspect. Circumspect is a good word for the way I feel about it.