Fun Facts

Here’s something you might not have known… down here in the South we’re not all Bible thumping brimstone and hellfire folks.

Am I a Christian? Yes. Do I believe Hell is a real place? Yep. Do I go to church every Sunday? No. The church to me, at least the ones I’ve experienced, don’t feel like ‘the home of God.’ I don’t believe things are black and white. There are shades of gray. Things that have traditionally been seen as ‘evil’ might just be different.

Why am I saying all of this? Because there’s a fun fact about me that you didn’t know. That most people don’t know, except for clients both online and in real life. And before you start thinking something wrong, let me clarify. I read Tarot cards. I also use a pendulum, oracle cards, as well as rune stones.

Now, I don’t like to be defined by labels, so I don’t call myself anything. I’m just me. I have never really explained my beliefs or tried to define myself because I don’t see the point. What I believe is between me and my God. I grew up as a Christian and if I had to put a label on myself, that’s what I would identify as. But I believe many things. One of them being in the Tarot (mainly over the oracle cards, pendulum, or runes). Too many times have I used it over the years and what the cards say come true or are true. Too many times to be just a coincidence. And I’m not the only one who seems believe this. Other people come to me to read cards for them and they pay me for it! That’s the strangest thing to me, that someone is willing to pay for something I do. (Every time I make a sale on Etsy, I get super excited too.)

So I thought I’d just throw that out there and see how y’all react.

It’s finally finished!

So, this is my first post in a while. It feels a little weird because for the past 30 days, I’ve been writing fiction… my badge makes me smile. 51,344 words! I can’t believe it. Right now, I’ve been awake for well over 24 hours. I’m not sure exactly how long. I feel very out of touch, like I’m so out of it and goofy I’m not sure if I’m dreaming or awake or what I’m doing. Have I taken my meds? Have I eaten? Yeah… I had some soup… at some point in the past 5 days… But I’m too tired to actually feel hungry, you know what I mean?

Basically, forgive this bad post, but I’m posting it anyway. I’m just so so so happy that NaNo 2017 is over and I made it!!!

Congrats to anyone else who did it and won!

KEEP GOING to anyone out there still reaching! STOP READING AND WRITE! YOU GOT THIS!

It’s finished, Christmas is here. I feel… I’m on the cusp of like, not giving a shit to the point that you’re just happy? Delirious?

I don’t know. I’m stopping. I think I’ll go fire up my micro torch and make some metal shit. Mini-flamethrower and lack of sleep… what could possibly go wrong?

Easy Writing

…doesn’t exist.

People think writing is easy. Sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes the words pour out of you as easy as breathing. Sometimes you have to dig and rip the words out. Either way, once the writing is done, the editing begins.

I’m not there yet at all. Not even close (clearly – sidebar), BUT I know it’s coming.

I don’t even know what I’m writing about now with this NaNo. The words are pouring out of me, but right now they’re all jumbled and confused. Thanks to the Scrivener program I can sort them out later. Right now, it’s just a big mess. And exhausting.

Between the studio and NaNo, my energy is completely drained. I’ve got a lot more things to list on the shop site, but no time to do the work behind it just yet, new and different things than I usually do.

I’ve decided that soon (maybe next week?) I’ll be posting a discount on here for anyone who needs to buy Christmas presents! If you want to see more of what I have, you can check out the Instagram I just made for it.

Special discount for this blog only coming soon!

And good luck to anyone else in NaNo right now! (It’s completely frying my brain.)

The Waiting Game

After all the work and time and preparing I’ve done, now I have to wait. I’m used to instant gratification. It’s a nice concept, except when it isn’t. I’ve done the work, made things, listed them (still making things). Now I’m waiting for buyers. All the excitement is gone. Not gone, but severely diminished. I know logically that it wasn’t going to be like I list all the things and people start buying them immediately, immediate success, but I think I had just that kernel of hope that it would. Just that small bit of unrealistic expectations has been enough to completely derail me.

Right now, I think it’s different because I’ve set up a “craft table.” Every morning when I let the puppy outside I walk past it. And I can’t not touch the beads. There’s something about the feel of them, like putting your hand in a jar of marbles. It’s the only way I can think to describe it, but feeling them makes me want to do something. That’s how I’ve ended up making things. It’s all right there, one spot, out in the open and I just can’t resist! Besides, having an Etsy shop gives me a good excuse to keep buying more things!

I know I’m not alone in that – doing something and then expecting immediate results instead of waiting for the reward of success in the end. I think some of us (me included before) have prayed and asked for something from God and when there isn’t an immediate response or answer we understand, we get frustrated and give up.

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him. — 1 John 5:14,15

The Israelites were in the dessert 40 years before they reached the land God had promised for them. I know it’s not going to be 40 years. But I think it’s a good comparison. 40 years,, 400 years of slavery before what God had promised Abraham and Isaac and Jacob came to be.

So, a few days? a few weeks? That’s nothing.

If we ask for things that are in accordance with Him, we’ll get it. God, the creator of the universe, who can hold the oceans in his hands, will take care of us. But he wants us to come to him. It’s something I’m learning and writing helps me process. This is me processing and I’m sharing.

Places with a Purpose

I’ve never been the kind of person who thinks that your bed is just for sleeping, your desk is just for studying/working, or the couch is just for lounging. I study, eat, sleep on the couch. You get my point.

But since I started this Etsy business again, things have been a little different. First, I kind of destroyed our living room by setting up two tables and a cart in it, but I don’t think people mind. To get to the kitchen for breakfast, I have to walk through the living room and get to see all my jewelry supplies. Using these tables just for making jewelry has really helped.

I didn’t buy into that idea of setting up a place with a purpose. Without even meaning to, I sort of did it myself. And it works! Of course, it doesn’t mean I’m about to not nap on the couch or eat a meal in front of the TV, etc.

Just saying… sometimes it works and sometimes it’s worth it.

Maybe there’s something you could try? If there’s any NaNo’s out there, maybe a specific chair or table or something just for writing. I don’t know. Personally, I’ll be writing wherever I can get my laptop!

Getting Things Done

Every day I wake up and think, “I hope I don’t waste this day too.” I know that life is short, anything can happen, you never know when your number’s up, yada, yada. I think about it quite a bit lately (I think because my step-grandmother just passed – no condolences necessary). So I wake up with the intention on accomplishing something that day.

But then my meds kick in and make me sleepy, or my anxiety crushes me, or I dissociate, or I can’t even make it out of the neighborhood because there happens to be a car behind me but they might be following so I race through the neighborhood like a madman to get home without being seen thanks to my paranoia and PTSD.

Finding something that I can do at home is good because almost none of those issues pop up! My Etsy shop has been up for about a year but I haven’t been using it. Now that I’ve got more listings up I find myself motivated and excited to do more. That is such a good feeling, and rare for me. I want to make more things to sell. Usually, I just give things away as a gift or keep it for myself. Selling them gives me an opportunity to make some money (to balance out how much I’ve spent on the supplies) and something to do. It’s more than me being able to say, “I washed the dishes and vacuumed the house.” To other people, that doesn’t seem like a big deal. They do all those things and go to work. I can’t. I wish I could. I wish it so much and I’m trying to get better, but it isn’t easy.

When I meet someone new (because I’ve taken a risk and went to a new church meeting thing once a week at night and it turned out I liked it so I’m going back), they’ve always asked my name and what I do. The last time I was around new people the questions were my name, my major, where I’m from (college). What can I say to those answers now? What do I do for a living? Nothing. Sorry. I’m a mooch. I come off as lazy and privileged. I know I’m lucky and that there are so many people in my situation who aren’t as lucky and don’t have the support system I do. Being able to answer them, “I run an Etsy shop,” makes me feel so good! Even if it doesn’t seem like much to them and no I’m no where near making a living off it, it’s still something other than permanently imbedding myself in the couch and burning my eyes out on TV.

tl;dr   Getting my Etsy shop going has gotten me going and I’m that real kind of happy that’s deep happy.

(Yes, I’m linking myself again. Sure, I’d love it if you bought something. But if you don’t, I’d be just as happy getting views on my “stats” dashboard. My standards are low.)

Etsy Shop

You may (or may not) have noticed the new widget in the sidebar for my Etsy shop, Emi’s Jewelry Studio. I’ve had the store for just over a year now and haven’t been very active. It’s hard to stay creative and on top of things when the depression kicks in and I’m just trying to keep my head above water.

Today is different. Right now I’m feeling crafty. So I’ve got some bracelets going and some rings. I haven’t actually posted the listings yet, but I am working on it. I want to put up a lot because it’s getting close to Christmas. I want them to available ASAP.

The problem is I have a tendency to make something that I love and I want to keep it. Several rings and bracelets have been made for the shop that I end up keeping. It’s gotten to the point though that I’ve got too many to wear and I don’t go out enough to wear everything. So anyway, I’m making lots of things to post before Christmas. I only ship within the US (because international shipping/fees is too much work, sorry).

This is shameless self-promoting. If you’re looking for something casual or a simple gift for someone, click on the badge! It’ll take you straight to my shop. Not a lot is up yet and it isn’t quite Christmas time, but keep me in mind! Be on the look out for bracelets, rings, and earrings! Some day soon I’ll have the right supplies to take the best pictures I can (because let’s be real, a good picture is the number one reason for even looking at a product online)!

Who knows? Maybe I’ll post a discount code on here for y’all! 😉

edit: just posted earrings and a bracelet for Halloween!