More British Comedy…

This week it’s a movie. I watched this first with my mother at the beach. We had the patio doors open. I’m pretty sure the entire condo building and some of those on the beach heard us cackling. It was so funny and just got funnier. If you’re having a down day and just want something to make you smile, try Death at a Funeral.

With Matthew Macfadyen, Keeley Hawes, and Peter Dinklage (to name a few), this stellar cast brings nothing but pure British comedy.

You don’t know my mother, but she rarely laughs at movies or TV (with the exception of Friends). Until this movie, that is. During this, at one point I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one with tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.

It truly did just get funnier and funnier as the movie went along. And it was ridiculous but so funny. I’ve seen it more than once and each time it never loses any of its humor. It’s well worth watching. Pick a night when you’ve had a hard day or when you’re with someone funny and watch it! Just do it! You won’t regret it! And let me know what you think in the comments!

APA Paper – Veterans and PTSD

I’m in an Orientation class and they’re teaching us how to write an APA style paper. Coming from an English major to Psychology major means switching from my well-known MLA style to the foreign APA style. Anyway, so I’m learning that. We get to choose our own topic. I chose veterans’ suicide rates and PTSD.

I’ve done lots of research and reading statistics and government produced documents. The point is… the state of the government and public’s relationship with veterans is pretty bad. The suicide rates and extremely high and getting higher. The ages of those committing suicide are getting younger and younger. And it seems like there’s a lot of talk and everyone agrees that something should be done and veterans should be taken care of, and yet nothing is actually being done. Not enough anyway.

It’s time for the public to stand up and demand better treatment for our vets, better facilities for them, and better education and training of the people working in these facilities. They need a bigger budget to accommodate this.

I’m ranting, but something should be done. Vets should be a much higher priority than they are now. They shouldn’t be homeless. They shouldn’t have trouble finding jobs. They should be able to get help from educated people dedicated towards their mental health. There should also be some kind of education, training, preparation for families of vets coming home with PTSD or any other mental illness.

Okay, I’m done now. But come on… America, the greatest country in the world but if you look at the state of veterans, we’re pretty low. Not enough people are speaking out about it. Certainly, not enough people are doing anything about it.

Done now. For real. But seriously… like if you agree.

It’s Mardi Gras Y’all!

Today is Fat Tuesday, in case you didn’t know. Talk to anyone from Mobile and they’ll tell you that Mardi Gras started in Mobile, Alabama. Most people hear Mardi Gras and think New Orleans, Louisiana. Let me clear this up for anyone who’s confused. Mardi Gras started in Mobile, Alabama. The “father” of Mardi Gras, is Joe Cain.

Joe Cain came to Mobile and dressed up and partied through the streets on Fat Tuesday. In Mobile, we have a celebration before Fat Tuesday. There’s Lundi Gras, which is the Monday before Fat Tuesday. Then there’s Joe Cain Day, which is that Sunday (this previous one). Joe Cain Day in Mobile is celebrated with the Merry Widows, all Joe Cain’s wives. They fight over who he loved more. It’s very family friendly, but it’s also just a lot of fun.

My anxiety allowed me to go out one year, a while ago. But I remember it very clearly. It really was fun. There weren’t any elbows being thrown, no fights for beads or moon pies, none of that.

This guy is dressed as Joe Cain, dressed as Slacabamorinico. (the center guy)

It’s a lot of fun. And remember, Mardi Gras started in Mobile, not New Orleans. Tell your friends!

A Netflix Original

Messiah

I binge-watched this Netflix original. I think that’s what you’re supposed to do with Netflix originals because of the way they tell the story. Slowly. So if you watch this, be prepared to binge because otherwise you’ll watch an episode and easily sum it up in one sentence. “X happened and then Y happened.” (I don’t want to give away any spoilers.)

But if you don’t mind the slow pace, the story itself is intriguing. There’s always this air of “what is happening” while at the same time you think you know exactly what is going on. Also, there are subtitles a lot. So if you don’t like to read subtitles in your shows/movies, this isn’t for you. There was some language and nudity so I’m not sure I’d watch it with younger kids or like your parents (if you’re like me).

The way the last episode ended was like there could be more or that could be it. I have a feeling there will be more episodes later, but am I desperate for them to come out, dying to see what happens next? No. I might not even watch the second season unless I’m really bored.

If you’re willing to give it a shot, and are interested in faith and religion, this show might be something you enjoy (I did while watching it). Would I recommend it as a ‘must watch’ TV show? I don’t think so.

Meditation

Meditate (v): 1. to engage in contemplation or reflection

2. to engage in mental exercise for the purpose of reaching a heightened level of spiritual awareness

3. to focus one’s thoughts on: reflect on or ponder over

Meditation, yoga, all these “new age” things seem to be very popular lately. I know there are some people who believe that yoga is un-Christian because of its roots. I, however, don’t believe that. It may have roots in another religion, but it’s still a great way to exercise, stretch, and relax, and I really don’t think God is going to punish me for working out.

That’s beside the point. People tend to associate meditation with the new age bit and all that. But here’s the thing, meditation isn’t just new age or for Buddhism or Hinduism or anything else. There’s meditation in the Bible.

It’s all throughout the Psalms. In so many verses, they talk about the Lord delighting in our meditating on His word.

“Blessed is the one…whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.” -Psalm 1:1,2

“We meditate on your unfailing love.” -Psalm 48:9

“May my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the Lord.” -Psalm 104:34

“My eyes stay open through the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promises.” -Psalm 119:148

And so many more…

So we’re supposed to read the Bible and meditate on it, think on what we read, let it marinate and seep into our bones, let it be written on our hearts. That’s how God wants us to read the Bible, I think. If we soak ourselves in His word, surround ourselves with His truths they become our truths. That’s how I imagine we should spend our time with Him, how He wants us to, and that’s how we hear His voice.

Get rid of all our distractions and focus on Him.

Got 5 minutes?

If you have a spare 5-7 minutes in your day somewhere, maybe your drive to work, drive home, between running errands, drive to school, whatever it is I have a suggestion.

Try out Pray the Word with David Platt podcast. They’re short little, mini-sermons I guess you could call them. They end in prayer.

It’s a good way to start/end your day or if it’s in the middle while you’re at lunch before you start reading that really good book or watching an episode of that hilarious show, check out this podcast. I really think you’ll be moved. It can’t hurt anyway. Spending time in God’s Word is never a bad thing.

Happy Valentine’s!

Is it romantic? Not really. Definitely creepy, but here it is. I’m not into Valentine’s Day and I tried to pick something romantic, but I don’t really watch much romance. So I went with something that was supposed to be romantic. I’ve heard that some people actually do find it romantic and like the character Penn Badgley plays, Joe.

It’s not for the faint-hearted. If you don’t like creepy, violent things… do not watch this. But if you’re into true crime (this isn’t true though), like me, and TV, like me, try it. I guarantee after the first episode you’ll want to watch the second. Now, I haven’t seen the second season yet. I’m still reeling from the first season. It’s a very good show, very well done. The content, however, is frightening. But it isn’t horror or anything.

If you like crime TV, drama stories, this is the one to watch.

Doctor’s Appointment Pt. 2

I posted about this earlier, but here’s the continuation. Here’s how the appointment actually went…

First off, I wasn’t alone. My mother came with me. In a previous appointment (at a different doctor’s office) I had a panic attack while on the table with the doctor in the middle of doing her work and jumped off the table and sent things flying. Needless to say, I never went back there again. To keep that from happening again, my mother (so kind and supportive) comes with me.

Secondly, I still cried. Silently, but there were still tear marks on my face even though I tried to catch them before they fell. Embarrassing.

Third, the doctor did tell me everything that she was doing and that really helped. I was prepared for it, or at least as prepared for it as I could be. And she was very, very fast about everything.

All I kept thinking about was that if I were normal and nothing had ever happened to me, this wouldn’t be such a big deal. I wouldn’t be a grown adult who still needs her mother to hold her hand. If I were normal… And that’s what really hurts the most, I think. All the things that might’ve been if what happened to me hadn’t happened, if I’d been in a different place at a different time… all the potential I had wasted because I was afraid of my own shadow for a while. Which made going to school impossible. So I’m in online university which is great and I know what I want to do and that’s nice. That might’ve not been the case if what happened to me hadn’t happened. That’s what I have to tell myself. The silver lining…even if it is a little tarnished. Anyway…

I’ve just gotten home. I stopped at Starbucks on the way home and got myself a little treat. My therapist, when I went to equine therapy, told me that when I go out and do something I don’t want to or that causes stress and anxiety that I should reward myself. So that’s what I did. Starbucks is my reward.

I’m glad the whole thing is over. Don’t have to go back for another year. So glad it’s a once a year thing and not a 6 month deal. Anyway… That’s how it went.

Woman’s Best Friend

Cammie now, aged 6

There’s no way to describe the bond between a dog and its owner. This little pup just always wants to be by your side, barks a little when there’s someone in front of the house, and will only eat her food if you’re eating. Now, that may sound like a needy dog, but for a person who was suicidal it’s perfect.

She warns me if someone’s coming to the house so the doorbell or knocking doesn’t send me into a panic attack. She reminds me to eat a meal every now and then because I’m making sure she’s eating. She never lets me feel alone because she’s always with me or if I’m in my room, she’s across the hall watching out the window to the front of the house.

She’s a smart dog. I know all owner’s say that, but it’s true. It doesn’t take long to train her to do something (like not jumping on you when you come in the door, shaking your hand, sitting and laying down with hand signals only).

She’s really the perfect dog for me. With all my mental health issues, she balances them out. When I’m down, she comes and lays with me. When I’m getting into a manic phase, she’s there to help me let out the energy in a safe manner. She seems to know when I want to self-harm and she puts her head in my lap.

If you’ve got problems, if you’re lonely, I highly recommend looking into getting a dog. Make sure you can handle the responsibilities and everything that goes with it – money for vet visits. Get it neutered/spayed. And look from a shelter. Those dogs may feel exactly like you do and just need a home and some love. So if you’ve got love to spare and money and are willing to try, adopt a dog. Cammie is a rescue and I couldn’t be happier.

Doctor’s Appointment Pt. 1

This may be too personal.

As a victim of sexual assault, going to the OBGYN once a year is very difficult. It’s one of the most dreaded days of my life. I don’t know how to explain it really. I just feel like enough people have seen the most intimate part of me, and I don’t want anyone else to see it. If that makes sense…

I have a great doctor though. She believes me when I say I’m not sexually active. She tells me everything that she’s doing before she does it, just to prepare me. But there’s just something about it that every single time makes me cry. And I hate crying. Especially in front of people. Especially if those people are virtual strangers.

But it’s something I have to do whether I want to or not. Like going to the dentist. I hate going to the dentist but still have to go.

I’m posting this now to compare my feelings about going before I go and then I’ll make a post about going after and what the appointment was actually like. My appointment isn’t until later in the week, but it’s already giving me borderline panic attacks.

As I’m typing this, the doctor’s office literally just called to confirm my appointment and my heart rate just went through the roof – just talking on the phone with the doctor’s office. I feel so pathetic.

Expect another post soon…