I’ve been absent for a while because I’ve been visiting my sister, cleaning the house, and cleaning out the house. There are a lot of things in my life that I’m ready to let go of so that I can move on with my life. I can’t stay living in the past. Also, taking care of two wild, rambunctious dogs who like to eat things they shouldn’t all day can be exhausting. But I didn’t really mind. It was too much fun seeing them happy with each other.
There’s a hurricane on its way. I’m betting it’ll be more like a storm rather than Irma and Harvey. While at the grocery store today though my phone and everyone’s around me went off with the emergency alert that there was a hurricane coming. And the store was packed. I’ve never seen it so full. Nearly every aisle was blocked. Then I got stuck in the check out line with an elderly man who was asking me if my husband sent me here to buy the groceries (not married), “well you’ve got a pretty enough smile. you should get a man to take care of.” I did my best to smile and thank him for the “compliment,” even though I really wanted to tell him to stop talking.
It was unbelievably awkward. My anxiety was already through the roof because of the amount of people and being outside my house. Then worse because he’s hard of hearing so he’s practically shouting this all at me and everyone around us can hear! If I hadn’t been in such desperate need of food, I would’ve turned around in the parking lot and left at the amount of cars. But my fridge was empty and everything in the pantry was things that needed to be made with other ingredients that I didn’t have. Now I do. And then some, because I was hungry and moving quickly, not really thinking, and grabbing myself some rewards for managing my anxiety.
Always do that! It makes things so much nicer, to plan a reward for yourself when you do something you really don’t want to do. I try to do that a lot. Just little things. A milkshake, a new book, sometimes just a drive down to the shore with the windows down and some feel good music playing. It’s little things that make the days go by easier, faster. Even naps. So I think I’m going to reward myself today with a nice nap!